What first drew me to ACER were the trees
On the surface of things, the reason I joined ACER three years ago was professional. I wanted to learn.
It had started when I was in my final year of an excellent training at the University of Roehampton in the UK, in Dramatherapy. We were in the middle of a module called ‘crafting theatres of the psyche’ incorporating Richard Swartz’s model - IFS - with Dramatherapy principles, when I went to a talk about the clinical trials that were taking place at Imperial College into the treatment of treatment-resistant depression with psilocybin.
While I was fascinated hearing from Dr Carhart-Harris and David Nutt about the findings of the clinical trials, much more impactful was what I heard from one of the patients on the trial. Listening to him describe his experience, I was amazed by the depths he seemed able to have reached within a single session, and by what he described having happened within that session. The man seemed to have been able to move through layers and layers of resistance, something I myself had yet been unable to do. But what really struck me, and my friend, was how the man seemed to be describing just what we were experiencing on our dramatherapy module, where we had been discovering unknown, ‘banished’ parts of ourselves, and beginning the process of bringing those hidden parts out into the light, where they were being given the opportunity to meet, and to speak to one another for what felt like the first time.
Dr Carhart-Harris explained this in terms of the effect of the psilocybin on different parts of the brain to make connections through synapses that don’t usually connect. But what was emerging for me as the discussion unfolded, was the potential for deep healing to take place when we really get the chance to meet ourselves.
From this point on, I became more and more fascinated and excited by the stories that were emerging of ‘the psychedelic renaissance’ and the possibilities of plant medicine to connect people to their own inner lives and identities, particularly from heroes of mine in the field of Trauma, such as Gabor Mate and Bessel Van Der Kolk.
And so on the conscious level, I came to ACER because I wanted to immerse myself in the stories of those working deeply, safely, and responsibly in this area, people whose work I respected, so that I could learn as much as possible about what I saw could be the future of mental health.
I know now, however, that on the unconscious, instinctive level, I arrived at ACER because it was where I needed to be. It was where I could really grow. It will not be possible to describe why and how ACER has done this for me here, and what this growth has meant, but I hope that in time, future posts will give readers further insight into that journey.
What first drew me to ACER though, were the trees.
As a drama therapist I know the immense power of the object that holds symbolism, metaphor, and story within it, and the twelve trees, each containing the month’s theme and focus, captivated and enchanted me from the moment I attended the launch event in 2022. As a member of ACER they have continued to do this as the coming of every new month, and the welcoming of each new tree, has felt like unwrapping a treasured present.
Finally joining my very first tree journey sharing circle, I got the first inkling of what ACER was going to do for me, and how much I needed it. I have never been very good at meditating, and assumed a guided mediation would have me asleep in a matter of minutes - as it always had on my therapy training! I couldn’t have imagined how beautifully crafted the tree journeys would be. The music, and the journey Ros took us on, gave me the feeling of being scooped up, held, and then transported to a place of sweetness, softness and rest.
I realised, reflecting on the Yew tree journey we had just experienced with the other members of the circle for the first time, quite how lucky I was to have chosen this place to learn. I knew I was going to be in a place of depth and safety, a place I had longed for.